An introduction to the Filipino debut

First part of my “How to Plan a Debut” series

Much to my delight, I have been blessed to have first-hand semi-professional experience at party planning for young Filipino women who have, as they say, announced their coming-of-age. And as someone who is always bouncing with ideas that just have to have their own “coming out”, I found every opportunity to coordinate a themed teenage birthday party tempting. 

Initially, my plan was just to write about the experience in a journal that is this blog but aside from the challenge of having to tell my story blow-by-blow, as things progressed, I have also realized that this piece better be a sort of guide since I would eventually have to narrate the steps and the minutest details as I go along anyway.

I noticed recently that some of the visitors of this blog come from as far as Canada, the United States, and Germany so I have decided, too, to make it a point that my blog entries would cater to people who might find my culture bizarre, if not, absurd. Not to be apologetic about it, neither to promote it, but mostly, for the sheer purpose of being understood, pragmatically speaking. 

The aristocratic debut

Photo credit: San Francisco Chronicle

So let me tell you something about the Filipino debut—what it is and what it is not. In Western cultures, a debut is a cotillion ball for a young aristocratic lady who has reached the age of maturity, i.e. her 18^th birthday. It has been a practice among families at the upper crust of the society to present young women to "their people", traditionally, for the purpose of finding eligible bachelors who would be interested in marrying them. 

The young woman, now known as the “debutante,” is sponsored by an elite group of women who are entrusted by the family to make sure that her coming-of-age would play as it should. Often, membership to these women’s circles is passed on from the socialite mother, also passed on to her by her socialite mother, and so on. A modern aristocratic debut is usually still formal and in the form of charity events in which guests are expected to pay tickets and the proceeds go to a certain cause. 

The Filipino debut

Photo credit: This I Believe

Another version of the coming-of-age party is the quinceañera, which is popular in Latin American countries such as Mexico, Puerto Rico and Brazil. Its main difference from the debut is that it is celebrated on a young woman’s fifteenth birthday.

You could say that the Filipino debut is more akin to a quinceañera as variations of the event have evolved in a way that does not limit the celebration as exclusively within the turf of high societies. The Filipino debut is a large party that may or may not be a formal cotillion where young women are presented to bachelors. Instead, the parties often revolve in a theme or motif chosen by the debutante or her family. What is almost always present in the programme is the entourage of 18 individuals or sets of individuals who are close to the debutante.

The debutante's immediate family

Typically, 18 of the debutante’s female friends or close relatives would recite their birthday wishes while holding a candle in a ceremony known as the “18 Candles”. Also staple is the “18 Roses” ceremony, in which close male friends and relatives of the debutante would give her a rose (or the debutante's favorite flower), and dance with her. Often, the first dance is the debutante’s father and the last dance is the debutante’s significant other.

Now the beauty of throwing a theme party lies in how you can experiment with these ceremonies, and the programme in its entirety. Other debuts, for example, include “18 Treasures”, where guests, often older than the debutante, present their gifts. Another recent addition is the “18 Wines”, which is like a toast to adulthood. 

(I will be discussing more entourage ideas in the programme section of this guide so please keep yourselves posted.)

The debutante, candid shot with friends

Why we celebrate

Filipinos like celebrations so much that these debuts are quite often grand despite being less formal than its Western counterparts. We, regardless of social class and religion are known for our tightly knit family, and when we talk about family, that includes extended families from both the father and the mother side. You could only imagine how a proper middle class debut would have a guest turnout of 100 to 200—half of these claiming to be closely related to the debutante. 

And because Filipino debuts are mostly attended only by family and friends, they are not really about presenting young ladies to society. It is more of a celebration of a milestone in the life of the debutante—much like other birthday celebrations where everyone vows to make the party and the ceremony an experience to remember for the woman of the hour. It is a chance for the adults to impart words of wisdom to the youth. And for the young ones, it is a celebration of friendship, hope, and a start of new beginnings.