Brainstorming ideas for a themed debut

Second part of my "How to Plan a Debut" series

Now that we have settled the difference between the Western notion of the debut and the Filipino debut, we are now safe to proceed to the first, and arguably, the most important part of planning any event—brainstorming.

The first—and trust me when I say that the least asked—question to keep in mind when planning a birthday celebration is… “Is this my party?” Oh, I could feel you shrugging and exclaiming, “that’s ridiculous, of course, I know that!” over here. But really, some people need to be constantly reminded.

Not your party, honey

Photo credit: The Frisky

If you really want the debut to achieve its goal of making the debutante the happiest person of the night, this question should bug you every step of the way. Why? Simply because people who plan party for other people, wittingly or unwittingly, tend to organize an event that they want and not what the celebrant wants.

But hey, I’m not trying to dampen your confidence and excitement about your very important task. You were entrusted with the honor of masterminding a significant event, one that the debutante would remember for as long as she lives, and that could only mean that she and her family believe in your creativity, taste and sensibilities. But that still doesn’t make the party yours. You might be oozing with bold and edgy ideas for the programme that would surely pump it up on the dance floor, but maybe—just maybe—the debutante likes a more laidback, all warm and fuzzy kind of stuff.

I bet you’re thinking, “What about the guests? Don’t they have a say about these?” Well, if you could ask how each of them feels about your burlesque-inspired party this early, then by all means, do it. But that seems a little futile, isn’t it? So who else should have a fairly accurate, general assessment of the kind of party that the debutante’s guest would enjoy as much as she would? Hint: It is the birthday celebrant. She knows these people best and she has stuck with them for, at most, 18 years of her life so chances are, they might have similar interests and personality.

Aha! Magic words appearing as I type—“personality” and “interests”. Those are your best friends, if not, your muse, or the wells from which your creative juices flow. And there’s also the debutante’s basic information such as where she lives, what her religion is, or what her college major is. 

Chum the debutante

That tiny creature on the left is me with the debutante and two common friends. 
I look tired, I know. But, heck, that was fun.

The last debut I organized was for a classy teenager who is taking up a degree in tourism, and also wanting to become a travel journalist. She likes the color pink and she likes to go to Paris more than any place in the world. I trust that after reading those, I only need to count to ten before I say that you have already come up with a party theme, or at least, have envisioned what the cake should look like. That’s your germinal idea.

If you are good buddies with the debutante then figuring out who we’re celebrating for won’t be a difficult task. However, I would still advise that you chat her up over a cup of coffee just to capture, firsthand, what excites her the most. If you want, you can make things a little more convenient by asking her to fill out a short questionnaire form before you meet. That gives you time to research for initial inputs and tangible ideas before you meet face to face. Here are some questions to consider:

-        Is this a big party? How many guests are we expecting?

-          Do you have a particular concept, idea or theme in mind? (Who knows if she    already has it all figured out?)

-          What are your current hobbies?

-          What is your favorite book, movie, TV show, music, food, color, __________?

-          What do you like to talk about the most?

-          Who inspires you?

-          How would you describe yourself?

 

If you feel like you already know the celebrant that you could actually imagine yourself strutting in her shoes, then you are ready to embark on an intricate process of sifting through all these information and coming up with a single, all-encompassing theme for the night. And when we say “single”, that means, “only one”.

One party, one theme

Again, this is a common issue with most of the debuts I have been to. The event has no driving concept other than celebrating a birthday. Everybody celebrates one every year in whatever manner or form. But this, this is a debut. It only happens to this young woman once in her life and if she thinks something like this should happen then it should be the best she could ever have because it is about her, not her birthday, but her.

At first, you will find yourself bombarded with a lot of theme ideas but eventually, and also with constant coordination with the debutante, four will boil down to three and then to one. Try to find that one germinal idea with utmost consideration of the following: timeframe, budget, human resources, supplies and logistics, and last but not the least, nature.

The latter are the topics I would discuss on the third part of my “How to Plan a Debut” series so keep yourselves posted, lovelies!

An introduction to the Filipino debut

First part of my “How to Plan a Debut” series

Much to my delight, I have been blessed to have first-hand semi-professional experience at party planning for young Filipino women who have, as they say, announced their coming-of-age. And as someone who is always bouncing with ideas that just have to have their own “coming out”, I found every opportunity to coordinate a themed teenage birthday party tempting. 

Initially, my plan was just to write about the experience in a journal that is this blog but aside from the challenge of having to tell my story blow-by-blow, as things progressed, I have also realized that this piece better be a sort of guide since I would eventually have to narrate the steps and the minutest details as I go along anyway.

I noticed recently that some of the visitors of this blog come from as far as Canada, the United States, and Germany so I have decided, too, to make it a point that my blog entries would cater to people who might find my culture bizarre, if not, absurd. Not to be apologetic about it, neither to promote it, but mostly, for the sheer purpose of being understood, pragmatically speaking. 

The aristocratic debut

Photo credit: San Francisco Chronicle

So let me tell you something about the Filipino debut—what it is and what it is not. In Western cultures, a debut is a cotillion ball for a young aristocratic lady who has reached the age of maturity, i.e. her 18^th birthday. It has been a practice among families at the upper crust of the society to present young women to "their people", traditionally, for the purpose of finding eligible bachelors who would be interested in marrying them. 

The young woman, now known as the “debutante,” is sponsored by an elite group of women who are entrusted by the family to make sure that her coming-of-age would play as it should. Often, membership to these women’s circles is passed on from the socialite mother, also passed on to her by her socialite mother, and so on. A modern aristocratic debut is usually still formal and in the form of charity events in which guests are expected to pay tickets and the proceeds go to a certain cause. 

The Filipino debut

Photo credit: This I Believe

Another version of the coming-of-age party is the quinceañera, which is popular in Latin American countries such as Mexico, Puerto Rico and Brazil. Its main difference from the debut is that it is celebrated on a young woman’s fifteenth birthday.

You could say that the Filipino debut is more akin to a quinceañera as variations of the event have evolved in a way that does not limit the celebration as exclusively within the turf of high societies. The Filipino debut is a large party that may or may not be a formal cotillion where young women are presented to bachelors. Instead, the parties often revolve in a theme or motif chosen by the debutante or her family. What is almost always present in the programme is the entourage of 18 individuals or sets of individuals who are close to the debutante.

The debutante's immediate family

Typically, 18 of the debutante’s female friends or close relatives would recite their birthday wishes while holding a candle in a ceremony known as the “18 Candles”. Also staple is the “18 Roses” ceremony, in which close male friends and relatives of the debutante would give her a rose (or the debutante's favorite flower), and dance with her. Often, the first dance is the debutante’s father and the last dance is the debutante’s significant other.

Now the beauty of throwing a theme party lies in how you can experiment with these ceremonies, and the programme in its entirety. Other debuts, for example, include “18 Treasures”, where guests, often older than the debutante, present their gifts. Another recent addition is the “18 Wines”, which is like a toast to adulthood. 

(I will be discussing more entourage ideas in the programme section of this guide so please keep yourselves posted.)

The debutante, candid shot with friends

Why we celebrate

Filipinos like celebrations so much that these debuts are quite often grand despite being less formal than its Western counterparts. We, regardless of social class and religion are known for our tightly knit family, and when we talk about family, that includes extended families from both the father and the mother side. You could only imagine how a proper middle class debut would have a guest turnout of 100 to 200—half of these claiming to be closely related to the debutante. 

And because Filipino debuts are mostly attended only by family and friends, they are not really about presenting young ladies to society. It is more of a celebration of a milestone in the life of the debutante—much like other birthday celebrations where everyone vows to make the party and the ceremony an experience to remember for the woman of the hour. It is a chance for the adults to impart words of wisdom to the youth. And for the young ones, it is a celebration of friendship, hope, and a start of new beginnings.